Prozac

I have made and canceled countless doctor’s appointments, but today, I FUCKING MADE IT.

I can check a physical, pap smear (ick), STD testing, and thyroid testing off my never-ending to-do list.

I brought up my anxiety and all the shitty thing that go with it, like the constant jaw clenching (and subsequent pain) and horrendous sweating. Seriously, I have tried every damn clinical strength deodorant there is and I still constantly look like I ran a fucking marathon after doing exactly nothing. It’s fucking disgusting.

I got bloodwork done to check my thyroid just in case, but she diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder (duh) and prescribed me Fluoxetine – a generic version of Prozac, which should help with the depression, anxiety, and panic attacks all in one handy little pill. She started me on a low dose with a gradual increase to the full dose. I have a follow-up appointment with her in a month and she gave me a referral to a shrink for therapy. Now I just have to call and make a therapy appointment and actually go to it.

A Letter To My Narcissistic Mother

A Letter to my Narcissistic MotherDear Egg Donor,

Thank you.

Thanks for the anxiety.

Thanks for the depression.

Thanks for the self-loathing.

Thanks for making me question everyone’s motives.

Thanks for refusing to tell me who my father is.

Thanks for not believing me when I was in second grade and told you the man at my daycare was molesting me every day.

Thanks for treating me so shittily that I moved out of your house and into a physically abusive boyfriend’s house when I was 16 years old because the physical abuse he put me through was easier to deal with than the emotional abuse you put me through.

Thanks for following me across the country to humiliate me in front of my colleagues at a conference and scream at me that my marital issues are all my fault.

Thanks for cutting me out of your life when I asked for an apology.

Oh wait, those thank you’s were supposed to be fuck you’s. Except the last one. Seriously, thanks for cutting me out of your life. You don’t deserve to be in mine.

FUCK YOU.