Today was overwhelming as fuck.
STBXH had agreed to continue helping me at work for a few hours each Saturday until the end of the year, which would have made today his last day.
On the way to work this morning, he was driving my car. He was coming up to an intersection where we had to make a right, but he didn’t signal. There was a car coming the other way waiting to turn left, assuming we were going straight because STBXH hadn’t signaled.
“Can you please signal so they don’t wait for no reason?”
THUD. He clipped the curb hard turning right and didn’t respond.
“Can you please pull over so we can check the tire?”
That question unleashed a fire-breathing dragon.
“STOP FUCKING YELLING AT ME. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TREAT ME THIS WAY!”
“Do you understand the irony of you screaming at me to stop yelling? I think you should go home. Take today off.”
Cue more rage and screaming about how I need him at work.
I calmly asked him to pull over again. This time he did. He walked the few miles home while I drove off to work. When I got there, before going inside, a panic attack took over my body. The shaking, dizziness, pounding head, and crippling nausea were overwhelming.
I texted one of my friends who helped me pull myself together enough to get through work. I was pretty certain I was going to either pass out or vomit on someone, but I made it through without doing either.
I headed to my friend’s house after work. She immediately gave me a hug, wrapped me in a soft blanket and a neck massager, fed me a good meal, gave me a few ibuprofen, packed me a bowl (yay for living in a legal state!) and gave me a cider. I am so grateful to have her as a friend.