Is A Shitty Proposal A Sign Of A Shitty Marriage?

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Is a shitty proposal a sign of a shitty marriage?We’d been dating for two years. We had been living together in another state but were visiting his family where we both grew up.

One night during our trip, his mother whipped out a calendar. “So, when’s the wedding?”

“Um… he hasn’t proposed.”

“I’m sure he will soon! Let’s pick a date!”

A few minutes later, me not knowing what the fuck just happened, his mother and grandfather had decided a wedding date for us. The first date they chose didn’t work because his grandfather had a barbeque planned, but they were satisfied with the second date they landed on.

A few weeks later back at home, a package arrived. He came into the bedroom and handed me a ring box.

That was it.

The ring was a repurposed diamond he literally found on the ground of a parking lot.

At the time, I rationalized it as romantic. “The diamond found us!” And since his mother and grandfather had already chosen my wedding date, I put the ring on. Boom. Engaged. Just like that.

He didn’t leave the house to plan anything special. He didn’t get down on one knee. He didn’t give some romantic speech. Looking back, I’m not even sure he ever actually said the words, “Will you marry me?”

What the FUCK was I thinking??!?!?! How did I miss the glaringly obvious signs that this was never going to make me happy?!


6 thoughts on “Is A Shitty Proposal A Sign Of A Shitty Marriage?

  1. Well mine wasn’t any better it was kinda comical if you ask me …. he didn’t even have the balls to ask he had his elderly mother do it. Looking back he probably thought it was romantic but I found it a cop out.
    There I was sitting on the couch speaking to his mother on the phone …. mind you she was 80 and in the throws of Alzheimer’s but I loved her nonetheless. She went on to ask if I would be her daughter in law and then looking beside me was him holding the box.
    I don’t ever recall him asking me those four words but my favorite three words that I heard was YOU ARE DIVORCED.

  2. My sbxh purposely made me mad right before proposing. Then he asked me to do something for him. It was his way of “testing” me to see if I would still be there for him even if I was mad at him. He did at least get on one knee and asked, but there was nothing romantic about it or anything. He literally put the ring in the freezer (“ice in the ice box”), asked me in my room, and then we went to a group outing for an organization we were in.

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